Chuck Norris Facts

• Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever
  
• Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunt implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
  
• Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
  
• Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
  
• In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else as ever gotten.
  
• Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks are not the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
  
• Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter 2" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about this glitch Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
  
• Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle--you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.
  
• If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds til." After you ask, "Two seconds til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
  
• Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
  
• Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
  

(These are only a few my favorites that got passed on to me in an email. Thought they were worth sharing. If want the email I forward you).